Signs of Overcontrol
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Ten Signs You May Have Had Controlling Parents

When you were growing up, your parents...

1. Overscrutinized your eating, appearance, hobbies, or social life

2. Pressured you with perfectionistic expectations or unattainable standards

3. Forbade you from questioning or disagreeing with them

4. Discouraged you from expressing anger, fear or sadness around them

5. Violated your privacy

6. Intimidated, manipulated or overpowered you

7. Discouraged your efforts to experiment and think for yourself

8. Gave you no say in household rules and responsibilities

9. Seemed unaware of the pain they caused you or others

10. Seemed unwilling to admit they were wrong

If your parents were controlling, click here for helpful resources

Information about finding a psychotherapist

From If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Take Your Place in the World.
Published by HarperCollins. Copyright Dan Neuharth, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

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Ten Signs Your Parents May Still Control You

Even today as an adult, you...

1. Feel disloyal when acting or feeling differently than your parents

2. Feel easily annoyed or impatient with your parents without knowing why

3. Feel confused by parental mixed messages

4. Are afraid to express your true feelings around your parents

5. Feel intimidated or belittled by your parents

6. Worry more about pleasing your parents than being yourself

7. Find it hard to emotionally separate from your parents

8. Talk to your parents more out of obligation than choice

9. Get tense when you think about being around your parents

10. Want to temporarily reduce or sever contact with a parent

If your parents still try to control you, click here for helpful resources

Information about finding a psychotherapist

From If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Take Your Place in the World.
Published by HarperCollins. Copyright Dan Neuharth, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

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Ten Signs Early Unhealthy Control May Still Affect You

In your adult life, you...

1. Feel perfectionistic, driven, or rarely satisfied

2. Feel intimidated or easily angered around controlling people

3. Lose yourself in relationships by automatically putting others' needs first

4. Find it hard to relax, laugh or be spontaneous

5. Feel as if you are under scrutiny even when no one else is around

6. Have an eating disorder or addictive behaviors

7. Have trouble finding a spiritual belief that feels right

8. Expect others to hurt, judge, or take advantage of you

9. Have harsh "inner critics"

10. Have trouble asserting yourself or feeling proud of your accomplishments

If early control is still affecting you, click here for helpful resources

Information about finding a psychotherapist

From If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Take Your Place in the World
Published by HarperCollins. Copyright Dan Neuharth, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

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Ten Signs You May Be Overcontrolling Your Children

In raising your children, you...

1. Micromanage their eating, appearance, hobbies, or social life

2. Give affection as a reward but withdraw it as punishment

3. Criticize your children far more than you praise them

4. Violate your children's privacy

5. Override, discount or ridicule your children's strong emotions

6. Forbid your children from asking questions or disagreeing with you

7. Are unwilling to admit your mistakes in parenting

8. Believe that you own your children and that they have to earn your love

9. See your children's desires for independence and autonomy as a personal rejection

10. Inflict physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse on your children

If you are concerned you are overcontrolling your children, click here for helpful resources

Information about finding a psychotherapist

From If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Take Your Place in the World
Published by HarperCollins. Copyright Dan Neuharth, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

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If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Take Your Place in the World
Published by HarperCollins Publishers

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Copyright Dan Neuharth, Ph.D.  All rights reserved.